A Man Under Duress

The counter top guys are coming today to get an exact measure of our counter space. Yes! We are in the home stretch! In order for them to get a perfect measurement, we had to remove our sink and current counters. We’ve lived with them for three and a half years, and the yellow had. to. go.

Yellow Laminate Counters

We knew the installers assigned this Wednesday appointment to us over two weeks ago, but we decided to wait until this past weekend to tackle it, since living without counters and a sink might prove difficult. Well, what do you know? The weekend came and went, and we decided to go at it last night at 9:30pm. Our b. About 30 minutes in, Matt was in the small opening that used to house the dishwasher. Good times.

Countertop Removal

I’m working on a separate post - a “how-to” remove your laminate countertops, if you will, with some more pictures. There’s a sneak peak on my instagram (@schoolhouserehab) if you’re impatient.

In the interim, I had to share with you a few gems that flew out of Matt’s mouth during the process. You might remember I did this a while back when he changed 22 kitchen outlets. I think it’s the funniest thing. Humor me, will you? He has no idea I’m storing his quotes in my brain and then scribbling them down on a notepad while he isn’t looking. This is no indication of how he normally speaks - this is a man under duress - bending and tweaking a back that is less-than-healthy.

Here we go… my commentary to you is emboldened.

“I’m literally pouring sweat.”

“Can you vacuum this mouse sh*t so I don’t put my head in it?” This is true. Sadly. It’s an old house!

“Is that even possible?”

“Do you ever clean, woman?” This was a joke. Otherwise I would have smacked him. ;)

“I need you to focus.”

“I don’t understand how it’s connected in the back.”

“We need A/C.”

“Who are you texting now?!”

“You ready to use a power tool?” Like I haven’t used one before - ha!

“Unscrew it, baby.”

“Tell me I just fcking unscrewed the fcking cabinet.”

“Can you get the screw I just threw in the garbage?” In the dinner remains. Ick.

Walks in with a tool bag.

Me: “What’s that?”

Matt: “A saw.”

Me: “For the counters?!”

Matt: “Yes.”

Makes a shallow cut…

“Not the right saw for the job, baby.”

Smirks while walking past me to the garage.

“Time to bring out the big guns.” Oh, Lord.

“Who’s f*cking idea was this?” Mine. Oops.

“I can’t believe that took 2 hours.”

There you have it. 2 hours later, and we are counter-less and sink-less. Once they measure, the turn around for fabrication and installation is about 2-3 weeks. Hopefully by mid-June, we’ll be in business and the swears and distress of last night can be forgotten.

Does anyone else have experience taking off 28-year old counter tops? What about mice? Experience with mice? Let’s talk.